B Certain Texas

Beautiful_02- Single Guys Outtake from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.


This was posted on one of the blogs that I follow from Perry Noble (http://www.perrynoble.com/) who is the Sr. Pastor at NewSpring Church in Anderson SC. I think that it applies to those who are married and not.

We men need to step up and claim our role in our families.

From "The Message" bible by Eugene Peterson

Ephesians 5
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Ephesians 5
25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

We men need to stop castrating ourselves and grow a set. Learn your role! Be your role! Learn how to bless your wife and children. It will be an investment in the future of your family!

A mans role is undoubtedly the leader of the house. But we are not taught this, because it is politically incorrect. We were instead taught a distorted sense of equality. Have you heard of the 50/50 rule where the husband will do the chores for a day and the wife on another? Has any man ever cared enough to clean? Even when he does clean, how clean is it? Has any man ever "wanted" to take out the rubbish? No! Because men are not made like that.

I think that we need to find time to be men, honorable men, that lead their families. If you cant do it on your own, then ask for help. It is NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help in such Godly pursuit. It is a sign of our own failure, but desire to be better. Learn from your past mistakes, but endeavor to not repeat them again in the future. Talk to a spiritual friend about their struggles and share your own. Ask them to help keep you accountable, and keep them accountable as well. Surround yourself with Spiritual warriors. Go on a "Walk to Emmaus". DO SOMETHING!!! Don't let another day go by without pursuing your wife and this goal. Today is the day. Draw the line in the sand and don't ever cross back over it.

Discuss?

Tonight is the October Gathering for the Arlington / Mid-Cities Emmaus Community at First UMC Arlington. I will be the Lay Leader for this Gathering. The gathering are an excellent way for you to reaffirm your connection with your 'Walk" experience and enjoy fellowship with your Emmaus Brothers and Sister's.

Won't you come and worship with me?

I was asked to give a message to the men's basketball ministry tonight at FUMC Mansfield. Here is a copy of what I shared


This is a scene from one of my favorite movies “Facing the Giants. However today, I want you to think about this scene in a much different perspective.

Today I want you to think about that scene not just as a football scene but in relationship to your marriages. How many of you are married?
How many of you are marriage warriors?

How many of you believe that you are the most influential member of your marriage?

1 John 4:7
Let us love one another, for love is from God;
and everyone who loves is from God and knows God

I now see this scene is not about just football … it’s about me and God. See the coach is God, and that me with the weight on my back. The weight is my marriage
God is saying …
It’s all heart!
It’s not too hard !
You don’t quit on me!
You are the most influential member of this team!
If you walk around defeated … so will she.
Don’t tell me you can’t give more that I what I have been seeing!
Brian .. I need you.
Can I count on you?

I believe that you cannot give unconditional love to another out of your own heart. It’s impossible! It’s beyond your capacity. It’s beyond all of our capacities.

Unconditional love is only something that comes from God. Because he loves you... God chooses to express that love through you.

Now being guys we like to think that we can do it all on our own. We believe that with enough hard work and commitment, we can muster up unconditional, long term, sacrificial love from our own hearts. But I will ask you... How many times has your love failed to keep you from lying, lusting, from overreacting, from thinking evil of the person that you stood before God and promised to love for the rest of your life?

John 15:5 apart from me, you can do nothing

The people who made “Facing the Giants” came out with a new movie last Friday called “Fireproof” it was made for $500k and finished 4th at the box office last week grossing 6.5 Million dollars. Now I believe in a Big God and I believe that HE is making a Big Statement with this movie

The movie is about a couple who are facing the end of their marriage. They have both given up. But the male lead, played by Growing Pains Kirk Cameron, gets challenged by his Dad to give it 40 more days. His dad then gives him a journal of a sort called “The Love Dare”. The way I describe it, its 40 days of dares to change your heart. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know that there is only one person who I can change, and that me.

How many of you have ever trained for an event? Did you hire a trainer? Did you ask advice from someone who had done it before? Did you read a book? I don't know what means you used but you would agree that you could not be very good at what ever it was on your own with no training. I see marriage the same way. There are no training manuals, our wives did not come with an instruction book. We have had to learn by trial and error. And boy have I made errors.

I have gotten a little smarter over the years and have looked for ways to make my marriage better. “The Love Dare” is one of the ways that I have found to start conditioning my heart for my wife.

The dares start off relatively easy with the first day being

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in many ways, our words are often a reflection of the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your wife at all. If the temptation arises choose to say nothing at all. It’s better to hold your tongue than say something you will regret


I don’t know about you but I hear that and I say …I can do anything for a day.
But then you get to day 2 when it says

In addition to saying nothing negative to your wife again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

WHAT!!! Another day.
And then it goes on from there, some days are easier than others but what I have learned is, if you’re not right with God, you can’t truly love your spouse because He is the source of Love. You can’t give what you don’t have.

The truth is you can’t live without Him and you can’t love without him. But there is no telling what He could do in your marriage if you put your trust in Him

John 15:7
if you abide in Me and My words abide in you,
ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

No matter what the state of your marriage, I would challenge each of you to pick it up this book and dare to change your relationship … to start getting in shape for the rest of your marriage. If you are in a good marriage, it will help make it better. If you are in a bad marriage, I won’t promise that it will make it better, but it won’t make it worse.

In either case maybe, just maybe, God will start conditioning your heart and through that conditioning, it will shed a light unto your wife's heart and then maybe, just maybe, you too will find that we worship a BIG God.

Amen

Last night at "Letters from Dad" one of the guys at my table talked about his wife being a Proverbs 31 wife. I had never heard that phrase before. So last night and further today it sent me on a little bible and internet quest. here is what I have found...

The Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 Woman...

Pursues an ongoing, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Loves, honors, and greatly enriches the life of her husband, encouraging and supporting his leadership within his family and his church.

Nurtures the next generation, shaping and molding the children who will one day define who we are as a community and as a nation.

Creates a warm and loving environment for family and friends.

Is a faithful steward of the time and money God has entrusted to her.

Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction as she encourages others and develops godly friendships.

Shares the love of Christ by extending her hands to help the poor and opening her arms to the needy.

I found that I too am married to a Proverbs 31 woman. Every day I thank God for bringing her into my life and making it complete.

Last night at the kickoff for the "Letter's from Dad" program last night at FUMC Mansfield, Donnie Sherwood talked about this video. He talked about the video showing the unconditional love of a father and the determination to complete the race. This video is from the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. The video shows World Champion Derek Redmond competing in the semi-final of the 400m race. I love the addition of the 'Creed" song "Arms wide open". To me, it really puts God's love into perspective that no matter what...He will be there to see me to the finish line. And it challenges me to be the same kind of father to my son and wife. I hope you are moved and inspired like I was.